Contact Michael Connolly: e-mail [email protected]
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Why Women Want to Read This Book
...but few are chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age is the story of three teenage boys who escape lives of loneliness, petty crime, and violence by entering a Catholic seminary at age 13. There they experience a life changing education that sets each of them on a course for a responsible, productive, compassionate adult life.
But the book describes much more than the influence of priests in these boys’ lives. It tells of the significant role women played in their lives.
- How a mother uses a game of marbles to teach her son a life-lesson about coping with losses in life
- The impact that losing a mother had on two of the boys in this book
- How Big Mom (a boy’s grandmother) provided the much needed love and support he didn’t get from his parents
- Two stepmothers’ struggles to get two boys who had lost their birth mothers to accept them, and the boys’ resistance to accepting them
- How Aunt Sarah, a horse racing enthusiast, used what she learned at race tracks to convince a young boy that he wasn’t “just a loser”
- How teenage boys deal with falling in love with a girl for the first time.
- The attempts of young boys to mask their deepest emotions
- The funny, at times madcap, sense of humor of teenage boys
This book is available at Amazon.com
An Interview of the authors of ...but few are chosen by Mark Pattison of Catholic News Service
High school seminary led to new lives for three teen boys
By Mark Pattison Catholic News Service
1.16.2019 3:45 PM ET
WASHINGTON (CNS) -- The high school seminary as a source of priestly vocations has nearly faded from the U.S. scene.
But for three men, the impact it made on their young lives launched them into adult lives filled with potential and possibility, much of which they've accomplished.
Now, more than 50 years after their years at St. John's Atonement Seminary in the Finger Lakes region of New York, another box can be checked.
Titled "... But Few Are Chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age," the book has been jointly written by the three men, now in their mid-70s.
Michael Connolly, Richard Olive and John Tuohey each led what could charitably be called hardscrabble childhoods. The mothers of two of them had died, there were hard-drinking fathers, and there was a lot of trouble that a kid growing up in the Baby Boom years could get into, even if he attended a Catholic school.
But each of the lads was drawn to St. John's, run by the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement, at their respective parish's vocation fairs. The difference between a chaotic home and neighborhood life and the structure of St. John's was like night and day.
Connolly, who used to fight his way out of any disagreement, became a school principal. Tuohey, belittled by his father for being weak and asthmatic, became a nurse who recently completed a goal of having bicycled in each of the 50 states. Olive, whose life was upended when his pregnant mother died, became a journalist and a union business agent.
"The seminary opened up a parallel universe to us," Tuohey said. The priests who taught there, he added, became new father figures to him and his compatriots.
None of the three would have been able to identify it as such at the time, but childhoods were scarred.
"He was my best friend," Tuohey said of Connolly. "He was my best man. I was his best man. He was godfather to my daughter. I'm godfather to one of his sons," he told Catholic News Service, adding he even moved to Connolly's native Massachusetts to be able to spend more time with him. "Still, there were things about him in the book that I never knew."
The friendships ran deep, even when separated by decades.
"We hadn't seen each other in 52 years, the three of us," said Olive, who spent much of his adult life on the West Coast, although he once finagled a job at a newspaper in Elmira, New York, to get him closer to the Finger Lakes.
"The idea came up for the reunion at Montour Falls (home to the seminary), a place that was very dear to the three of us," Olive said. "Arriving at the little farmhouse that we rented, a B&B with our wives, it was quite a reunion. We spent those three days reminiscing in depth, learning things about each other that we never knew, including our own childhood backgrounds, which teenage boys are not likely to discuss.
"At the end of the three-day reunion, we were at breakfast for a sort of our last breakfast together before departing, everybody was assessing what the weekend was like," he continued.
"It was Mike's wife -- all the wives were remarking that they had never seen their husbands so animated and so loquacious -- and Brie, Mike's wife, said, 'I came here with a lot of reservations. I really doubted whether I wanted to do this. I had a lot of baggage I was carrying about the church.' They were from the Boston area and they had been bombarded by the Boston Globe's coverage (on clerical sex abuse) over the years," Olive explained.
"But your experience at St. John's," Brie told them, "was so different from everything I had perceived, and you guys ought to write a book."
Even so, it took six years before the book, published by Vandamere Press in St. Petersburg, Florida, saw the light of day.
All three have made some kind of peace with their past.
"One of the things I tell people is, 'My father comes across as very insensitive in my part of the story.' That's very true. That's the way it was. I'm telling this story from the perspective of a teenage boy," Connolly told CNS. "But since that time, I've got a better perspective of what he went through."
"My first wife died when my son was 7 years old, and I raised him for 10 years by myself. My father had three young kids (when he was widowed)," he added. "I was sent to Vietnam as a soldier and when I came back I had a better appreciation of the demons that soldiers bring back with them, and why my father probably drank a lot to deal with those demons" after World War II.
Tuohey said that "...But Few Are Chosen" needs to sell only a few hundred more copies before it starts turning a profit for its publisher. And he's hoping that will happen for Vandamere Press' boss, Art Brown. "For him to take a chance on us old guys and publish a book, we're lucky," Tuohey said.
The book, which retails for $19.95, can be ordered online at http://vandamere.com/but-few-are-chosen.htm. and at amazon.com
By Mark Pattison Catholic News Service
1.16.2019 3:45 PM ET
WASHINGTON (CNS) -- The high school seminary as a source of priestly vocations has nearly faded from the U.S. scene.
But for three men, the impact it made on their young lives launched them into adult lives filled with potential and possibility, much of which they've accomplished.
Now, more than 50 years after their years at St. John's Atonement Seminary in the Finger Lakes region of New York, another box can be checked.
Titled "... But Few Are Chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age," the book has been jointly written by the three men, now in their mid-70s.
Michael Connolly, Richard Olive and John Tuohey each led what could charitably be called hardscrabble childhoods. The mothers of two of them had died, there were hard-drinking fathers, and there was a lot of trouble that a kid growing up in the Baby Boom years could get into, even if he attended a Catholic school.
But each of the lads was drawn to St. John's, run by the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement, at their respective parish's vocation fairs. The difference between a chaotic home and neighborhood life and the structure of St. John's was like night and day.
Connolly, who used to fight his way out of any disagreement, became a school principal. Tuohey, belittled by his father for being weak and asthmatic, became a nurse who recently completed a goal of having bicycled in each of the 50 states. Olive, whose life was upended when his pregnant mother died, became a journalist and a union business agent.
"The seminary opened up a parallel universe to us," Tuohey said. The priests who taught there, he added, became new father figures to him and his compatriots.
None of the three would have been able to identify it as such at the time, but childhoods were scarred.
"He was my best friend," Tuohey said of Connolly. "He was my best man. I was his best man. He was godfather to my daughter. I'm godfather to one of his sons," he told Catholic News Service, adding he even moved to Connolly's native Massachusetts to be able to spend more time with him. "Still, there were things about him in the book that I never knew."
The friendships ran deep, even when separated by decades.
"We hadn't seen each other in 52 years, the three of us," said Olive, who spent much of his adult life on the West Coast, although he once finagled a job at a newspaper in Elmira, New York, to get him closer to the Finger Lakes.
"The idea came up for the reunion at Montour Falls (home to the seminary), a place that was very dear to the three of us," Olive said. "Arriving at the little farmhouse that we rented, a B&B with our wives, it was quite a reunion. We spent those three days reminiscing in depth, learning things about each other that we never knew, including our own childhood backgrounds, which teenage boys are not likely to discuss.
"At the end of the three-day reunion, we were at breakfast for a sort of our last breakfast together before departing, everybody was assessing what the weekend was like," he continued.
"It was Mike's wife -- all the wives were remarking that they had never seen their husbands so animated and so loquacious -- and Brie, Mike's wife, said, 'I came here with a lot of reservations. I really doubted whether I wanted to do this. I had a lot of baggage I was carrying about the church.' They were from the Boston area and they had been bombarded by the Boston Globe's coverage (on clerical sex abuse) over the years," Olive explained.
"But your experience at St. John's," Brie told them, "was so different from everything I had perceived, and you guys ought to write a book."
Even so, it took six years before the book, published by Vandamere Press in St. Petersburg, Florida, saw the light of day.
All three have made some kind of peace with their past.
"One of the things I tell people is, 'My father comes across as very insensitive in my part of the story.' That's very true. That's the way it was. I'm telling this story from the perspective of a teenage boy," Connolly told CNS. "But since that time, I've got a better perspective of what he went through."
"My first wife died when my son was 7 years old, and I raised him for 10 years by myself. My father had three young kids (when he was widowed)," he added. "I was sent to Vietnam as a soldier and when I came back I had a better appreciation of the demons that soldiers bring back with them, and why my father probably drank a lot to deal with those demons" after World War II.
Tuohey said that "...But Few Are Chosen" needs to sell only a few hundred more copies before it starts turning a profit for its publisher. And he's hoping that will happen for Vandamere Press' boss, Art Brown. "For him to take a chance on us old guys and publish a book, we're lucky," Tuohey said.
The book, which retails for $19.95, can be ordered online at http://vandamere.com/but-few-are-chosen.htm. and at amazon.com
A Review in The Midwest Book Review
Greenspan's Bookshelf
...but few are chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age by Michael Connolly, Richard Olive, and John Tuohey
Synopsis: The collaborative work of Michael Connolly, Richard Olive, and John Tuohey, "...but few are chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age" is the story of three boys coming of age in the mid-1950s.
Growing up in working class Irish Catholic neighborhoods in the Northeastern United States, they are desperate to escape lives of loneliness, petty crime, and violence. At the age of thirteen, ready to enter high school they each come to the same life changing, and possibly life-saving decision to enter a seminary and begin their journeys toward
the priesthood.
"...but few are chosen" chronicles Mike, John, and Ollie's fears, frustrations, hopes, and dreams while they proceed on their very unique path to adulthood via St. John's Atonement Seminary in Montour Falls, New York. There, the three meet, eventually become lifelong friends,
and begin the transition to being successful and contributing members of society.
Lives that would undoubtedly have ended poorly are turned around in the structured, orderly, caring, and predictable life of the seminary. For the first time the boys come to realize that life is more than just raised voices and clenched fists. Led by priests on the faculty they learn
responsibility, restraint, patience, and concern for others. They develop determination without aggression, and apply their new-found abilities to study, sports, and relationships.
Critique: As thoughtful and thought-provoking as it is ultimately inspired and inspiring, "...but few are chosen: A Different Path to Coming of Age" is an extraordinarily engaging read from beginning to end. Exceptionally well written, organized and presented, this 'Coming of Age' study is very highly recommended for personal reading lists, as well as both community and academic library collections.
Able Greenspan Reviewer
Readers' Reviews from Amazon.com
DR, Florida
5.0 out of 5 starsA Riveting Read
September 20, 2018
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This the story of three young men and their journey from difficult childhoods to maturity in a seminary where they met. It is organized in chronological order with each sharing their perspective at various stages. Being of the same generation, I found this book an excellent insight into a 1940's and 1950's experience that was far different from my own. I think anyone would find this well worth reading - regardless of age. The book shows what can be accomplished even when the odds are stacked against you. Despite the challenges they faced, all three became positive contributors to society. Their book offers encouragement to anyone who feels they have powerful obstacles to overcome. The story of how they got to seminary, their experiences there, the bonds of friendships formed and their maturing as young men is captivating. You will want to share it with others. Put it on your reading list. You will be glad you did.
Diane E. Haussler
5.0 out of 5 starsWonderful read
September 12, 2018
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I loved this compelling story about three young boys, coming of age from very difficult backgrounds. Their collective experiences in seminary was amusing, heartfelt and honest. So refreshing to read about the priests/teachers who helped them grow and develop into happy, successful adults.
A story of hope. Beautifully written.
Nicole
5.0 out of 5 starsAn interesting view point...
September 12, 2018
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I loved this book! I found the connection with John, Mike and Ollie to be unexpected. From chapter one I was hooked. It was personal and watching the growth of each boy as he felt "saved" was heart warming and gave such a different image of what a seminary is all about. I left this book respecting the lifelong commitment of a priest, respecting the fact that an educator can be exactly what a lost child needs to be a successful human being and the importance of paying attention to your children individually. Heart warming and insightful!
Theresa Fischer
4.0 out of 5 starsA great selection for our book club
October 1, 2018
Format: Paperback
This was the most recent selection for our book club, and was unanimously praised. The three authors honestly and openly described their teenage years and time spent at their beloved St. John's Atonement Seminary in upstate NY. Readers will get to know each of the boys as they come of age, feel their pain, cheer their accomplishments, and feel as though you have family you've never known. Our club found lots to discuss in these pages, including a refreshingly positive take on the Catholic experience. I highly recommend this for book club reading.
Read more readers reviews at: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0918339839?pf_rd_p=c2945051-950f-485c-b4df-15aac5223b10&pf_rd_r=NHEZHXC64423Z7KT6HWQ