…but few are chosen is the story of three boys, myself and two of my classmates, coming of age in the mid-1950s. Growing up in working class Irish Catholic neighborhoods in the Northeastern United States, we were desperate to escape lives of loneliness, petty crime, and violence. At the age of thirteen, ready to enter high school, each of us came to the same life changing, and possibly life-saving decision–to enter a seminary and begin our journeys toward the priesthood.
None of us became priests, but the education and support our teachers provided is instructive of what a good school with the right kinds of teachers can accomplish.
To begin with: the influence of attentive, supportive adults and an atmosphere of high expectations is a vital component of effective education. I was an angry, aggressive kid. I was into petty crime and street gang fighting (although that was with rocks and sticks rather than guns in the 1950s). Some who knew me were convinced I would be in jail by the time I was eighteen years old. What changed that was my high school education.
I was not a good student when I entered high school. But once I adjusted to life in the seminary and its expectations, I was determined to become one. If I did not maintain passing grades, I would be asked to leave – and I did not want to leave. I become obsessive about studying and working to get good grades—and that lead to an important life lesson.
Teachers who care about students as individuals rather than just members of a class can have a profound impact on kids
One day, one of my teachers, Father Peter, noticed me studying in the library on a Saturday afternoon during scheduled free time. He commented on the fact that every time he came by the library, he’d see me studying there. When I told him I was afraid of flunking out, he explained to me the importance of balance in life and convinced me to go to the gym where we played basketball together.
Eventually, with his emotional support and encouragement, I would not only make the honor roll but the school’s basketball team as well. A teacher who takes the time to get to know students as unique individuals and demonstrates that s/he cares about each one personally will have a greater impact on students than a teacher who views students just as members of a class. This is particularly true in the case of students whose home life is dysfunctional, which was my situation.
The Importance of high expectations and consistency
Like most teenagers, my friends and I, although we were in a seminary, enjoyed stretching and even breaking the rules. As I noted above, that had been my pre-seminary lifestyle. But St. John’s Seminary was a place with high expectations for all students for behavior as well as academic performance.
Father Owen was the Prefect (aka Asst. Principal) in charge of discipline. He had the challenging task of making sure teenage boys obeyed the school rules. My classmates and I remember him as always being fair and consistent when administering discipline for infractions of school rules. Equally as important, he always made it clear, whenever a boy was called to his office for discipline, that it was the behavior that he didn’t approve of, not the boy. He also made a point of noticing when a boy did something commendable and always commented on it.
Years after I left the seminary, I would travel hundreds of miles to Garrison, New York to visit with Father Owen (by that time retired) and tell him what a positive influence he had been in my life. And, as I would find out, I was among the many ex-students who did that.
Compassionate teachers help young people develop a proper sense of self
One of the toughest and most important tasks a young person faces is to develop a sense of self: Who am I? What are my values? What’s important to me? How do I want others to view me? Effective teachers help young people understand that self-esteem is not developed by way of selfishness, self-promotion and self-centeredness. It is fostered by the growth self-discipline, empathy, respect for oneself and others, and willingness to share one’s time, talent and treasure with others. The teachers at St John’s nurtured responsibility, restraint, patience, and concern for others in me. They taught me determination without aggression, and I’m forever grateful for that.
Getting kids “college and career ready” is certainly important, but quality education can and must accomplish much more than that.
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